There's a Big Difference Between Radical Acceptance and Tolerating Abuse

My family has always been loud due to the following: hearing loss on my father's side, my mother being from Batangas, and having anger issues. I cried when I was in 3rd grade because my mother got frustrated and slapped me for not understanding the multiplication table. Yeesh, no wonder her and I only talk when my brother's not home.

I hear their whispers. "Oh she quit because she wants to focus on her graduate studies," my brother says to a family friend or "alam mo na naman," from my mother, roughly translating into "well, you know why again," indicating no hard work and not understanding that I'm choosing to live on my own terms. I have a romantic date next week with one of my closest friends and I asked my brother if she could sleep over. He was wondering why I was asking, and even instigated on why I only hung out with my friends outside of our home. I responded honestly and replied, "because I don't feel comfortable being myself around you. There's all different versions of me and I can't even tell which parts are actually me." Silence. We didn't speak until the next day.

I'm now doubting my radical acceptance of him because it's not fair that I am the only one willing to change. Every time I privately correct him on GSRD/LGBTQIA+ terms or pronouns, he barks at me and says, "it's just us!" Unfortunately, yes. It is just him and I and I bet he hates it. I know I hate censorship, but he doesn't have to worry about that because he's older, the man, and has money. What I hate most is the lack of emotional support, but I mean, what can I expect? My mother doesn't even believe I was sexually abused by a different older brother! Additionally, she loves bringing up my past, but whenever I bring mine up, I'm shushed to the side.

Anyways,
Happy birthday to the other person who doesn't cause drama in my family,
My father.