My Very First Booth!
On Sunday, May 28, 2023, I successfully handled my own booth at a sex worker's only event in Oakland, CA called Whores Bath. Massages, nail technicians, saunas, body regulation, and food, all free to sex workers and I offered to volunteer to get some practice and feedback. I got some feedback, alright, and most of them were good, but there were 2 that stood out.
My hours were from 2:45-4:45pm, but I am notorious for going to events. I am notorious for showing up at least 2 hours early because I want to know the accessibility and general layout of the event space. I drove myself and a fellow sex worker friend to Oakland, got lost, got to the venue and ate some food. I even managed to get free Plan B, or Levonorgestrel (the morning after pill that approximately costs $40-$50), which was already worth the trip for me and an indicator of the community care present. Unfortunately and fortunately, I was fully booked and did not get a chance to seek other volunteers' services.
I set up my booth and had a packed schedule. Some finished early, allowing passersby to take a peek and give them a welcoming smile. Many approached, which added to the additional hour, thus my volunteering ended around 5:30pm. My last session was my favorite because they ended up crying and it felt like a breakthrough for each of us; they came to the conclusion that they needed to end things with a partner they no longer had feelings for. I asked if they wanted me to hold their hand because it was a difficult topic and I literally felt touched and connected with this client.
This event made me realize that I cannot help everybody and that's okay. It was my second to last client (keep in mind that I was not expecting to have 2 additional clients) and reflecting back on it now, they needed therapy, not coaching. At my booth, I had a QR code which goes to a survey/questionnaire on identities, demographics, and feedback, along with my social media accounts right next to an "about me" section. I received some pretty gnarly feedback through email and responded hours later after processing. They told me I was "whoring" myself out because I had my donation links taped down on a table, along with an about me and my services. I'm very direct with my clients and they seemed to be under some substance(s) because their demeanor was very slow, closed eyes, and slurring. I knew that people were using substances because it's part of the sex work culture; almost everyone was knowledgeable about Narcan and harm reduction. I did not point it out, but they did apologize for using the word "whore." I responded, apologized and said that we weren't a good match for each other and that's okay! This was the first time I said, "okay, I cannot help everybody." Additionally, another client, potentially a client I started because a session was cut short, told me I was, "the last sound 16 and lacks maturity for this work. Also she sounds square and unworldly." I giggled because my 16-year-gap older brother gets mistaken for my age, 28, very often; people often think we're a couple when we're out together. I know that the square and unworldly comments are untrue because I try my best to be better everyday. If that makes me a square, then so be it. I cannot change the minds of others and I can only improve from here. I have many plans this upcoming pride month and I cannot wait to share my adventures!
