I Visited My Nieces in the Philippines
My soon-to-be 15 year old niece (let's call her C) whom I'm closest to is so much happier, but I was taken aback when I saw her scars on her arms. As she was telling me a story about her school adventures in the Philippines, I was fighting my tears and focused on her story. I briefly fought back my tears when I asked her about it, why she never told me, and she was hesitant to talk about it. When my family discovered that I was doing Onlyfans, I spent a lot of time with her because her father, let's call him, “G," let me stay with him when I was kicked out. I feel so ashamed of myself that I never noticed or that she never told me. I mean, I noticed and encouraged her that I'm always there for a chat, but how can I not have noticed!? I feel like I failed.
My younger niece (from another brother, but uhhhh, my family is complicated; my eldest brother dated his subsequent brother's niece-in-law. I told you it was complicated. Let's call her P) is incredibly neglected when it comes to mental health. She is neurodivergent and before you tell me that I don't know what I'm talking about, I WORKED AS A PARAPROFESSIONAL AND I'M ALSO DISABLED WITH VARIOUS MENTAL HEALTH CONCERNS!!! ANYWAYS! I wrote this as a draft, unknowing that she has an ADHD diagnosis; lacks eye contact, hyperactivity, and delayed speech development. The last part is a bit confusing because she's Tanglish (Tagalog and English) and I am not able to distinguish if it is her delayed speech or if that's just what she's saying. Her hyperactivity and brief attention span are very visible, but it broke me when she said, “my mom and dad left me when I was a baby.” She would always ask, “are you my papa's sister?" Her father, my eldest brother (let's call him B), and her mother, G’s niece-in-law (told you it is messy) are her parents. Her father, B, is in complete denial and I am not surprised if he has other neglected children because he's an absent father who lacked proper sexual education. Additionally, G is also too woman-focused; constantly telling his almost 15 year old daughter (C) about the women he's fucking, and they are often younger than me, his youngest and only sister.
Y'all know how much I love my children; these are MY CHILDREN because I helped raise them! I shouldn't need to have biological children to feel maternal; I took care of my nephew (K) since I was 13! Now at 17, he has a job at Starbucks and both him and my aforementioned niece (G’s child, C) are waiting after high school for their sexual debut. C is also in the talking stages with a classmate, I asked if she's practicing safer sex, and she's also waiting after high school. I DID THAT. I TALKED TO THEM ABOUT SEX. I BROKE THE CYCLE. Are you telling me that these aren't my children? Why are my maternal characteristics dismissed when I've literally done more for these children? Fuck off.
