My 1st Christmas Since Moving to America in 2000
(CW: RAPE CULTURE)
A lot has changed, yet a lot has not, this Philippines holiday season both positive and negative, since immigrating to America. The Philippines is still a third world country and the majority of Filipinos are misogynistic. Why? Because I've seen their eyes following me. Truly, I do not think I can live here alone due to sexual safety. Not all things were bad so I'm going to make a pros and cons list and this is for me and only me. However, if this can be helpful for other queer and disabled tall Asian womxn, here was my experiences:
Pros:
Filipino hospitality. A local tricycle driver would always give us the correct directions whenever we get turned around or lost. Even in the busy cities, we locked ourselves out of the car and this stranger opened it for us and walked away. We had to hunt him down because I was the one who saw it, thanking and asking him, “how did you do that!?" He shrugged and gave us a trick to open the car if we accidentally left the keys in the car again.
Learning about my ancestors. I learned so much about my family because I'm finally at that age where I'm part of the adult conversations now! My family is a bunch of unknown activists; my mother and brother question authority, my maternal grandmother was deeply hated and I'm very much like her, my maternal grandfather had so much confidence and land, and my family has always been led by strong people.
My parents clean everyday and that's their key to a healthy life. Every morning, my mother goes to the market to buy fresh meat and produce for the meals of that day. The mangosteens and green mangoes were deliciously sour and the fresh coconuts were refreshing on most humid days. We have a malunggay tree in your yard and it was cooked on days when we wanted a break or had a stomach bug.
Being dollar earners. $1 roughly equates to 55.39 Philippine Pesos, therefore, we have an extra advantage. It's also a big ass privilege.
Having a car and people who are able to drive. The public transport in the Philippines isn't bad unless you are disabled. There are tricycles, buses, and even Uber and Grab.
Discounts for the elderly and disabled. If you have the proper identifications, you can be qualified for significantly cheaper meals and even products. Free-of-charge spaces for parking and a plethora of discounts are available.
Cons:
I could feel every person's stare and would have to correct people on disability rights. Sometimes, when I wasn't in the mood or it was too hot, I would say, “would you like a picture," and ask if they wanted to take one on their phone, or simply state that staring is rude and follow up with, "do you stare at people in wheelchairs?” It got tiring.
Speaking of staring, the men there need to stop with the rampant rape culture. The tricycle drivers in my area talked about women being bitches and even publicly verbally harassed some of them. I wasn't shocked because I would hear the same words come out of my misogynistic parents’ mouths. My eldest brother telling me that he could see my nipples through my bathing suit or my father openly slapping my ass as a joke would simply laugh when I called them out that I am their sister or daughter. Even my mother would have conflicting opinions on my appearance, swinging back and forth from, “wear something sexy," to, “you're gaining weight, cover up your rolls of fat." It did not help that my disgusting brother would talk to girls closer to his 15-year-old daughter's age than my almost 30-year-old self. Barf.
Accessibility. I rarely saw people with disabilities walking around independently. If there were, the roads were uneven, cars parked on sidewalks, and cars and pedestrians creating their own driving laws. You have to be well-off if you want to live with a disability in the Philippines.
Check your receipts before you pay. We had to return the receipt at least 3 times because they added things we didn't order. Knowing that most people do not check receipts, survivorship takes over and some restaurants (especially the ones inside the mall) add items that we didn't even order.
The humidity with the heat. My brother and I both suffered from heat exhaustion during our first few weeks. Not just that, but we had food poisoning too. I threw up and was the only one who threw up due to food poisoning. It was because my gross brother didn't wash his hands after using the restroom and never cleaned after himself.
I didn't recognize the Christmas carols. Where did the Filipino talent go!? Only one group harmonized and sang a different song. Curse you, Coca-Cola!
Those were my big ones for this trip and my mother is expected to visit us in SF in September. I would have been done with school and I will have to walk a lot before then because she wants to go to Europe.
