Why I Can't Masturbate During The Day
Because of the lack of privacy, my gender-neutral dudes. √(•ˇ_ˇ•)√
It’s also a safety issue because I can’t be known for the neighbor who masturbates because I live in a street-level bedroom with my windows open AT ALL TIMES. I see a lot of the same faces walk by my street-leveled window and I can only assume they live nearby. Hell, I’ve had the same Grubhub driver three times now; San Francisco is so small that I have literally seen one of my lovers on a rooftop party when I was in a situationship’s room that overlooked a rooftop. Yes, I called to see if it was actually him and as soon as I saw the pause and revealed his phone, held it up against his ear, I had a big smile on my face because I knew it was him. Back to the topic at hand, it has been a bit over a year since my squirting journey and here is the evolution of my masturbation sessions.
I was a humper, mainly pillows, by bunching up a large ball and placing it between my legs. My family said I would, "hump," the pillows until I was sweating and passed out. They thought I was tiring myself out so I could sleep in the heat when I was in heat! When I reached high school, the sheet was upgraded to a banana, cucumber, and curling iron, mentioned in a previous blog post. I even bought my first sex toy at the sex shop with unreliable hours. Even back then, I always masturbated at night. Then I became disabled with chronic pain and orgasms are now a big part of my life and masturbating before bed relieves so many of my side symptoms.
One major thing I've observed ever since I started chronically playing with my clitoris is the ease of which I fall asleep. I can fall asleep anywhere now; I may or may not have missed my train station during my 6:30am, 1.5-hour commute. I was a very anxious person prior to my mystery brain disability and not on any form of medication. I was horny, but was too busy and stressed to masturbate so there was a hiatus in my masturbation in college. This was also a really stressful time in my life, but the more stress I was experiencing, the more sex I would have. Was it because I was having sex with many people? Probably! I remember avoiding a fellow classmate because he happened to be roommates with someone I shamefully hooked up with (I was really depressed and he did not know what he was doing. To this day, I forget his name…). However, I am my own best lover and the reasoning is very simple: I took my time! (C)Literally 28 years of practice (ultrasounds have shown fetuses masturbating in both males and females)! Changing my outlook on sex changed the game for me!
I'm pleasure-driven rather than orgasm-driven now. I still partake in edging, and wowee zowee, does it improve my stamina and orgasm control! I also find it helpful to countdown to when I'm about to cum, also makes myself hot and sexy for the other partner(s). This mental shift was life-changing because I gave myself permission to simply feel and focus on my pleasure; what works and what doesn't. I love vaginal fisting, only if one has small hands! I've also switched up my toys (I was mostly clitoral, but now I love deep cervical orgasms 💋) and I have a variety of sex toys, some I haven't even unboxed yet. I have dildos on all spectrums of firmness; I'm like the house Goldilocks burglarized: not too hard, big, small, and juuuust right. Goldilocks is a Filipino bakery chain… fuck!
