A Banana, Cucumber, and even a Curling Iron

A banana, cucumber, and even a curling iron (not plugged in)! What do they all have in common? They've all been inside me. It started with the banana. I would put condoms on them for literal protection and my high school boyfriend and I used to Skype. There was only one sex store within a 30-mile radius from the shitty, always-closed location. Even if there were more sex stores and boutiques near me at that time, I was still underaged! "Hey mommy, can you buy me something from the sex store?" My mother would've slapped the Catholic back into me. She would have locked me up, eat the key, shit the key out, and flush the toilet.

Personally, I don't mind buying my niece a sex toy if she asked. In fact, I would be thrilled; first, because she came to me for pleasure and two, she trusts me enough to ask. As soon as she turns 18, I'm taking her to Good Vibrations (if it interests her. I don't want to push my beliefs onto her just like what my family did to me with religion). She still prefers to not go to church and that's what I call "hope."